cromulence

Why didn't the confirmation hearings of Scalia and Roberts examine them for their knowledge of mathematics?

Who knows what mischief may have been averted?

At last...

I've made it into the top 50% of humanity, as ranked by attractiveness. Or so OKcupid informs me:

We are very pleased to report that you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users. The scales recently tipped in your favor, and we thought you'd like to know. [What, did somebody attractive die and make room for me?]
. . .
Your new elite status comes with one important privilege:

You will now see more attractive people in your match results.
. . . Also! You'll be shown to more attractive people in their match results.

. . .
Suddenly, the world is your oyster. Login now and reap the rewards. And, no, we didn't just send this email to everyone on OkCupid. Go ask an ugly friend and see.

OK, at least that last bit is win.